Anal sex can be a pleasurable experience for givers and receivers. Erotic media is not a good example of how to begin having anal sex because the depiction often begins in the middle. However, anal sex is a process that begins with preparing yourself physically and mentally in order to avoid trauma of any kind. It is a process that will require patience.
Preparation for anal sex begins long before the moment you’re ready for penetration. If you are interested in receiving anal sex, begin by incorporating anal stimulation into your masturbatory acts. Learning what feels good to you makes it easier to communicate that information to your partner. Anal “training” or acclimating your anus and associated muscles to the sensation of penetration can be done with a variety of sex toys, particularly anal beads or anal plugs. Remember, this is a process.
Tip: Make sure any toy used in the anus has a flanged base.
Choose a moment when you have plenty of time and few stressors. Immediate preparation for your session of sexy fun time may include an enema. (More on those in another post.) You will also want to gather all your materials: safer sex barriers, toys, lubricants, baby wipes etc.
Tip: Avoid lubes that “desensitize” the anus. They make it hard to feel if you’re being injured.
Begin with plenty of foreplay - the more relaxed a person is, the easier penetration will be. After partners are aroused, begin by stimulating the area around the anus slowly. Gentle, easy penetration with a well lubricated finger or small toys will help the sphincter muscles relax. Slowly add more fingers and/or larger toys by checking in with your partner, adding lube and then adding the finger or item.
When both partners are ready, find a comfortable position and begin penetration by applying pressure to the outside of the anus. Push gently inside using plenty of lube. Once a small portion has been inserted - stop. Allow the receptive partner to relax. Either partner can control further insertion. Begin by thrusting slowly and angle toward the front of the body in order to stimulate the prostate or G-spot. From here, figure out what feels good and do that.
Tip: Never pull out quickly. It is possible to tear delicate skin and muscles.
There’s a lot to learn about anal sex; this is only a primer. I recommend:
- The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women by Tristan Taormino
- The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Men by Bill Brent
Wield it Wednesdays focus on technique or technical aspects of play.